I grew up as a people pleaser. It was drilled into me from childhood that it was very important to be aware of what other people thought of me and my actions at all times. Growing up in an Indian family, keeping up with appearances is something that becomes a part of your identity.

Before I made any decision, I was to carefully weigh out how it would affect others and their thoughts of me. Before long it got to the point where every decision in my life involved me heavily weighing what other people would think.

I built myself completely around others’ expectations, from the way I looked to my friends, to my relationships, passions, personality, and more.

I spent so much time trying to get everyone to like me that I never figured out that’s not actually what’s best for me. Surprisingly, I figured out that in my life, as well as my business, it’s a good thing to drive people away! That may sound weird, but let me explain:

It started with this amazing quote from the book Light is the New Black by Rebecca Campbell, which goes like this:

“You are not for everyone, and that’s okay. The world is full of people who, no matter what you do, will point blank not like you. But it is also filled with people who will love you fiercely. You are not for everyone, and that’s okay. Talk to the people who can hear you. Don’t waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value, they won’t ever want what you’re selling. Don’t convince them to walk alongside you. You’ll be wasting both your time and theirs and will inflict unnecessary wounds, which will take precious time to heal. You are not for them and they are not for you; politely wave them on, and continue along your way. Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift; don’t cheapen your gift by facing yours in the wrong direction. Keep facing your true north.”

“One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and it’s perfectly okay.” – Unknown

It all changed for me when I moved to London with Khushi back in July 2008 – I was no longer surrounded by family members (they were all in Norway). This was the time to rediscover myself, who I was, my strengths and weaknesses, my qualities, my personality and more – however, this change didn’t happen over night! It took me years on this journey. In fact, it’s only 2-3 years ago since I’ve been comfortable in my own skin, accepted myself as I am and who I’ve become.

Super Power

So…

Don’t waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value, they won’t ever want what you’re selling. Don’t convince them to walk alongside you. You’ll be wasting both your time and theirs and will likely inflict unnecessary wounds, which will take precious time to heal. You are not for them and they are not for you; politely wave them on and continue along your way. Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift; don’t cheapen it by rolling yours in the wrong direction.

*Do connect with me on Instagram at @KiranSinghUK for behind the scenes, daily updates, inspiration and more!