Relationship infidelity is perhaps the worst thing one may experience. It can turn your life upside down, even more, if you have kids in your family. The pain of being cheated on stays with you forever, but you may give your partner a second chance if you feel your relationship is worth saving. However, you need more than their apologies and your unwavering love to rebuild the bond. Likewise, trying again only for your kids is not the right approach.
Reinvesting in a relationship after infidelity is a big commitment because you need to do more than trust your partner. You also have to forget the past and start again, which is easier said than done. But it could be the best decision because you may emerge stronger as a couple after getting through a crisis. Relationship counsellors have these valuable tips for couples looking to build from scratch after infidelity.
Be sure about a second chance
Cheating is the direst offence in a committed relationship, and it is not always forgivable. You must be sure about giving your partner a second chance in the first place. Retrospect and understand your feelings because you may have several hidden matters deep inside. You can talk to a friend or a therapist to open up about your true feelings and reasons to consider a second chance. You must do it because you want to because it is the only genuine reason to forgive and forget. Societal pressure, family pressure, and your kids should not be a part of the equation when it comes to making a decision regarding trying again.
Look for genuine remorse
Starting a relationship from scratch after infidelity also requires the element of remorse. If your partner does not seem to be deeply sorry about their mistake, you should skip the idea of giving them another chance. They may get back into the same pattern at some point in the future, so you might want to look into hiring a private investigator like Bond Rees investigators so the pain doesn’t get worse if it happens on a repeat. You do not deserve to be with someone who does not realize the gravity of cheating, no matter how much you love them. You must listen to your instincts to understand whether your partner is genuinely remorseful.
Have an honest conversation
Infidelity is not something to sweep under the rug, even if you want to hit the refresh button. You must have an honest conversation with your partner before reworking your relationship. Try to understand why they went astray in the first place because identifying the root cause is essential to regain trust with a strategic approach. You may find that they had an affair because of the distance in your marriage. Knowing what went wrong can save you from making the same mistakes again, so you must absolutely make communication a part of your comeback journey.
Never trust too soon
Relationship experts recommend caution when giving your marriage another chance after infidelity. In fact, you should never trust your partner too soon and keep an eye on their behaviour until you regain confidence in their character. Watch out for red flags like spending more time at work, planning random trips, or hiding their devices. You may even get a phone hacker for hire for tracing their phone calls and messages discreetly. Hiring a hacker is a good way to gather evidence so that you can confront a cheating spouse confidently. Pray that the hacker doesn’t get anything if you want to start afresh, but it is always wise to play safe.
Removing temptations for your partner to re-engage with the ex is another crucial aspect of starting your relationship from scratch after infidelity. If the affair is over, they will not have qualms about taking steps to cut off contact. Moreover, it helps them set up boundaries and speeds up the healing process for your marriage. Consider measures like blocking numbers, deleting contact information, and unfollowing the person on social media. You should do it at the earliest because the initial phase is often the most challenging for a cheater looking to move on.
Set ground rules
Another surefire step to start from scratch after infidelity in a relationship is to set ground rules for honesty and transparency. At times, cutting contact may be impossible for a cheating partner. For example, an affair with a colleague or client is tricky because they may come across the ex frequently. Changing jobs may not be an option, but a couple can move forward with brutal honesty. The cheating spouse must talk about such interactions with their partner. Likewise, the partner should keep an open mindset, and try to regain trust in the marriage.
Keep things private
Although infidelity is painful, and you may want to share your woes, keeping things private is the best approach to start afresh. The initial reaction to learning about a cheating partner may take you to any lengths. You may want to discuss your situation with random people and share posts on social media. But a strong reaction may affect your relationship if you want to try again later. Be selective about the people you want to talk to and confide only in a few close ones in your inner circle. A marriage therapist is the best person to talk to because they have an objective approach to the situation. Moreover, they follow ethics to protect client privacy, so your problems do not become a matter of public discussion.
Although cheating can be a relationship killer, some couples may choose to salvage their bond after infidelity. But you must take a strategic approach to start afresh because the road to healing is often long and painful. Ensure readiness in the first place because forgiving a cheater is perhaps the hardest thing you may do in a lifetime. At the same time, your partner should be committed to the relationship because it takes a lot to stay off temptation. A therapist is the best person to guide you on the journey and rebuild again.
*Don’t forget to download my #FREE Lifestyle APP Live a Well-Designed Life