Until we moved to the UK Summer of 2008, I had never been alone. I always used to have my family (parents, siblings, niece and nephew and of course Khushi). Once we had settled down and ‘normal’ life had commenced, I started feeling lonely those hours Khushi was at school. Somehow I managed, this went on for a year and a half.
I then connected with a lovely family (in 2009) who now is as close to me as my own. At that time, I used to drop Khushi off at their house for the weekend, so she wouldn’t miss out on the whole family love and the environment. Once back home, I would feel so lonely and sad and wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I would cry, not eat, be lazy – my confidence had hit rock-bottom.
It has taken me years to accept and enjoy my own company, to be happy with myself – to enjoy my own company and I can tell you one thing; it didn’t happen easily – loads of ‘training’, convincing and planning and most importantly; working on changing the self-limiting beliefs I had been living with all these years.
“If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone” ~ Maxwell Maltz
Many of us try to avoid spending time alone as much as possible and fill the silence with distractions. We have lost touch with being immersed in our own thoughts and inner guidance, being comfortable with who we really are. We hide our true feelings and thoughts in order to feel accepted by our friends, family or when getting to know new people. We have become so good at it that we hide our soul from ourselves as well, seeking our value through other people’s viewpoint.
Spending time alone with yourself, without distractions, is crucial for all of us because it opens up space for our real thoughts to come through. It lets us discover what we have been trying to cover up, and failed to take time to hear earlier. Most importantly, it lets us become who we really are when we learn to listen to our inner voice and intuition.
There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you or be being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, sit in a coffee shop on your own, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.